No, J and I are not engaged!
This post came about because my blogging bestie Anna is getting pre-engaged (congrats lady!) and I took the chance to tell J all about it and of course turned the subject around to discuss our possible future engagement!
“Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.” – Mae West
Let’s be real here. I know J and I haven’t been together that long, but because I am turning 30 soon and he is already well into his 30s, you don’t want to waste your time with someone who has no intention of ever getting married, unless that’s something both partners want. I don’t know if J is the One or not, but I wouldn’t want to waste my time with someone who didn’t even think of me as the possible One.
The discussion got to rings and after a friendly/heated debate, we reached a mutual agreement on the maximum cost for the ring.
What we couldn’t reach an agreement on is if I should be able to pick out the ring of my choice!
- It’s much more romantic if he gets to choose out the ring
- He thinks if I choose the ring, then I will always be “expecting” a proposal at any romantic situation (extra pressure)
- He wants to surprise me!
- Screw the surprise! He can surprise me with the actual proposing but I want to choose my ring!
- I’m the one who has to wear the ring
- Ideally, you only get one engagement ring in this lifetime and I want to LOVE the one I have
- My sister and all my friends got to choose their rings
- I promise to stick within the agreed upon price range
J and I would love to hear in the comments below what you all think? Should I let him surprise me and pick out the ring of his choice? Or should he suck it up and let his future wife pick it out because it’s better to practice early on the mantra of “happy wife, happy life.”
I’ve mentioned many times before on my blog that a significant part of my original $13K consumer debt is from my earlier shopaholic ways, but what I haven’t yet talked about was how I chose to invest in myself and wore braces as a young adult.
Growing up, my teeth were never that crooked that it prevented me from smiling with my mouth open, and the dentist always told me that if I ever chose to wear braces, it would mainly be a cosmetic reason; however, they were crooked enough to hurt my fragile female adolescent self-esteem.
I remember countless fights with my mom, crying and begging her to get me braces and I feel sick to my stomach now remembering the tears in her eyes as she told me her and my dad simply couldn’t afford it. Of course, as a young teenager, I always knew that my family of 6 was dirt poor, but I guess my parents did such a good job of providing us kids with our basic needs and some wants that I felt like they were being mean in not giving into my pleas of wanting straight teeth. Note to parents: Kids do grow out of their bratty behavior and turn into appreciative grown ups as I am a prime example of that.
When I graduated from University, I applied for a substitute teaching position back in my hometown, so I decided to move back in with my parents to save some money. Since I was making decent money as a substitute teacher, this was the time I also decided to get braces! So at the age of 25, I went into my first consultation with the best orthodontist in town. It wasn’t much of a competition since I come from a small town of 25K people and there were only 2 orthodontists to choose from.
As a substitute teacher, I didn’t have dental coverage so everything was going to come out of my own already deep-in-student-loan-debt pocket. At the consultation, I learned that I only had to put down a 15% non-refundable deposit and pay the rest of the $8,500 cost with monthly payments over the span of 2 years. I was sold.
My biggest financial mistake was putting the initial deposit and monthly payments on credit card when I should have given them pre-authorized payments through my bank account. Technically, I was making enough money to afford the braces, but rather than pay off my credit card right away when the monthly payments went through, I used my money on other stupid, frivolous things like clothes/shoes/makeup/beauty/hair etc. So shameful, but that’s another story, another time.
What’s it like to wear braces as an adult? Well in one word – AWKWARD!
It didn’t help that because I am also petite and look young, I was often mistaken as a student while I was substitute teaching. The middle school kids did think it was cool that I wore braces like 75% of them though.
Braces are awful. They don’t look attractive. Elastics are the most painful thing ever invented for the mouth. Getting my wires tightened every month or so made a grown woman like me whimpered in pain. I didn’t smile for pictures. I felt self-conscious to the extreme at times. I thought I would naturally lose weight because eating would be more painful – I didn’t. And my dating life literally became non-existent for the 2 years I wore them.
Would I do it all over again if I had to? YOU BETCHA!
It’s been 3 years since I had my braces taken off and as cheesy as it sounds – I can’t stop smiling!
Nowadays people tell me my smile is my best feature (aside from my high cheekbones!) and even though I’m probably still paying interest for those damn braces years ago, the confidence my new smile has given me is priceless! (almost) Along with other dental work that I had to have done before my braces were even on, I spent over $10K (and counting) on my teeth alone.
For any adults out there – young or old who have thought about getting braces – I say DO IT! Just don’t put it on credit like I did! Or if you do, then pay off your credit card bill on time. Good news is – my consumer debt which is currently sitting at around $6K should be all paid off by end of 2013 but my straight teeth will last a lifetime! Which reminds me, I should probably be wearing that sexy retainer more often at night…
Anyone else wear braces as a young adult? What was your experience like?
Happy Tuesday friends! This week is a short 4 day work week because yesterday was Victoria Day and for all my American and international readers who don’t know, Victoria Day marks the unofficial start of summer for Canadians.
Summer means open-toe sandal season so of course on my one extra day off, my friend and I planned a fun, girly afternoon of manicures and pedicures. I was really looking forward to being pampered at the nail salon because since I’ve become serious about paying off my debt, little luxuries like pretty fingers and toes were the first to go.
Every women knows that when you go to the nail salon, you expect to feel relaxed and treated like a princess for a few hours. What you don’t expect is upsell overkill which would spoil that mood very quickly. I couldn’t help but feel like the minute I sat down in my massage chair, my nail technician had dollar signs flashing in her pushy sales commissioned eyes. Let me recount the ways which led me to this conclusion.
First, she already knew when I called in earlier to booked an appointment that I just wanted the “regular” manicure and pedicure for $45 yet when I sat down in her chair, she immediately offered me the “deluxe” mani and pedi for $75. I politely declined.
Second, she then tried to convinced me to get a special sugar scrub for “only” $5 extra. Once again I graciously declined.
Third, she offered to draw some fancy nail art for a special of $6. I told her no thanks but by now I am starting to get slightly annoyed and not feeling relaxed anymore.
I think she could sense my irritation because she tried making some causal conversation and asked me where in the city I lived. When I told her I only lived a few blocks away from the nail salon she immediately told me that if I bought their nail buffer kit for $3, and went to the salon more than 10 times a calendar year, on my 11th visit, I could save $20.
Wow. 4 strikes and you’re out lady!!!
The irony in all this was my friend and I were talking about how we wished we could afford more trips to the nail salon but being “broke” made that hard to do. The nail technician knew neither my friend or I were “wealthy” but she still tried to suck every dollar out of us and not doing a good job of hiding her greedy intentions.
My finger and toe nails looked nice so I still tipped her the “mandatory” 15% but I am so disappointed that my once in a while luxury of rest and relaxation that I allow myself was ruined by an over eager sales beaver.
Has anyone else ever had a suppose to be pleasant experience ruined by an over eager sales beaver?