8 Questions About Love and Money

I first saw this #tag on Justin’s blog The Frugal Path and we all know how GMD loves tag posts! Check out my #Tag: Getting to Know the “Person” Behind the Personal Finance Blog that I started back in February. The #tag today that I will be doing is about my two favorite topics combined – Love and Money! Goody goody gum drops, let’s begin!

1. Would you discuss money on the first date?

If you asked me this question a few months ago before I got serious about paying off my debt and started blogging about personal finance, I would have said heck NO loud and clear. I still wouldn’t discuss money on the first date. Save that for the infamous 3rd date. ;)

2. How long should you wait to talk about money with your spouse?

Before you say “I do” to anyone, money should have already been discussed a long time ago! J & I discussed our finances within a month of being boyfriend and girlfriend. I didn’t want to because I used to think it was strange to reveal something so private with someone you didn’t know very well yet, but as I mentioned before, J is very smart with his money and he leads a very modest lifestyle, which has influence me in so many positive ways in regards to my finances.

3. Who brings up money in your relationship?

J & I discuss finances on a daily basis. We’re always trying to find new ways to save money while still enjoying life.

4. Is it harder managing money as a couple than it was when you were single?

J & I aren’t married so we have separate accounts and manage our money separately. I think even after we get married, we would continue to have separate accounts but a joint account as well to pay for things like mortgage, food, bills, and kids.

5. Would you offer to pay off your spouse’s debt?

I’m the only one with debt in the relationship. I don’t think J would ever offer to pay off my debt but even if he did, I wouldn’t let him. I’m too proud and stubborn for that. J does help me with finances in that he pays for the bulk of our groceries and any dates that we go on.

6. Is debt a deal breaker?

Well I may be bias as I have over 50K in debt, but no, debt is not a deal breaker :P How the other person handles that debt could be a deal breaker though. I would want my partner to be serious about paying off his debt and not avoiding it by getting into deeper debt.

7. Do you think it’s important to have the same money views?

Yes, it is important to have the same money views. People say that the number one reason behind divorce is money so it’s better to have the same views from the start. Avoid divorce, I heard it can be expensive! :P

8. Can you really change how your spouse spends money?

Meeting J has completely changed how I spend or rather save money. He made me realize that I couldn’t be in financial denial any longer. It was time to start acting like a grown up and tackle my debt head on. Even if we were to ever break up, I know that I would never slip back to my old habits because I just enjoy being financially responsible so much more! Designer clothes can’t compete with this proud feeling I have when I see my debt number get smaller and smaller. I am looking forward to the day when debt is paid off and I can see my savings number get bigger and bigger!

I now #tag EVERYONE to do this post as well! Thanks for reading friends.

22 Comments on 8 Questions About Love and Money

  1. MichelleNo Gravatar
    April 4, 2013 at 11:36 am (1 year ago)

    I love that everyone is doing this! I might have to as well. Me and W have always talked about money, so I can’t imagine it any differently :)

    Reply
    • Girl Meets DebtNo Gravatar
      April 4, 2013 at 4:45 pm (1 year ago)

      This is my first relationship where we both talk about money so openly, yet now I can’t imagine it any different either :)

      Reply
  2. Johnny MoneyseedNo Gravatar
    April 4, 2013 at 11:38 am (1 year ago)

    The only thing I’d like to point out is that when a couple gets married their debt should be each other’s debt. The reason being that if you died, your debts will be transferred to your spouse. That’s not the best present to depart from you spouse with. My wife and I crushed our debt together and then were able to build a small fortune because we did it as a team. I don’t think I can understand separate finances. Maybe like $50 a month to spend wherever you want, but the bulk should be together if you are both financially responsible.

    Reply
    • debtperceptionNo Gravatar
      April 4, 2013 at 1:28 pm (1 year ago)

      Upon death, responsibility of debts depends on where you live. My promissory notes and contracts are in my name and should I die, my husband would not be responsible to pay my student loans or credit card debts. I incurred most of my debt before I even knew my husband existed so we keep our debts separate. But we do live jointly off his income and anything I make goes towards my debts.

      Reply
    • Girl Meets DebtNo Gravatar
      April 4, 2013 at 9:51 pm (1 year ago)

      I’m much too stubborn and proud to let anyone else take on my debt. Working as a team would certainly make things go faster, but I don’t think it’s fair to J. It would be different if J had debt as well but he has none. Zero.

      Reply
  3. annaNo Gravatar
    April 4, 2013 at 12:10 pm (1 year ago)

    You and I are on the same wavelength with these answers (surprise!). I think being independent for so long, I agree with having separate accounts but a joint one for communal items like mortgage, kids, etc. I think a 70% for joint and 30% for personal seems fair, but will have to see if put into practice. I’ve actually also seen a #8 case where someone was a saver and then after marrying ended up being a spender… not the route I want to go!

    Reply
    • Girl Meets DebtNo Gravatar
      April 4, 2013 at 9:55 pm (1 year ago)

      You’re my twin. Of course we would think similar when it comes to love and money :P

      Reply
  4. MorgaineNo Gravatar
    April 4, 2013 at 12:11 pm (1 year ago)

    I will do this tag as well. T and I also talk about money on a daily basis. In fact, people tend to roll their eyes when we post articles on Facebook about investing or the housing market but we can’t help ourselves ;P

    Reply
    • Girl Meets DebtNo Gravatar
      April 4, 2013 at 9:56 pm (1 year ago)

      I think it’s awesome that you’re so PF in your “real” life as well ;)

      Reply
  5. Alan@escapingmydebtNo Gravatar
    April 4, 2013 at 2:08 pm (1 year ago)

    The age old question about money and relationships. Money can be a relationship killer. It definitely is harder to manage money as a couple than it was when I was single. I thought for sure it would be a lot easier, take my current expenses, add about 50% to cover an extra person in the house but you get their full income. Oh how I was so naive when I thought that at an early age. I used to be able to figure out what I could put as my exemptions to minimize the taxes withdrawn throughout the year while using that extra money to put into my 401k plan and still get a decent return at the end of the year. Lately the only thing that has allowed me to get any refund the past previous years was the fact we had high dollar things to write off. Last year we didn’t and adjusted our exemptions to late so we owed. I am going to sit down soon and see if I can re-create the same magic when I was single, lol.

    Reply
    • Girl Meets DebtNo Gravatar
      April 4, 2013 at 10:03 pm (1 year ago)

      I’m sure you can recreate the same financial magic you had when you were single!

      Reply
  6. Amber Simpson-GrattonNo Gravatar
    April 4, 2013 at 3:12 pm (1 year ago)

    Ah, money and a spouse. For me and my boyfriend this is a tight subject because we are both student living on our own in debt, and it’s more touchy for him that me. I realize my mistakes and just strive to fix them. Him, well he doesn’t want help fixing anything and try to do everything himself even if it makes things worse. MEN. But we are super open. We even convinced each other to not use our credit cards until the summer when we have more hours.

    Reply
    • Girl Meets DebtNo Gravatar
      April 4, 2013 at 10:04 pm (1 year ago)

      As long as you are both open about your finances with each other, than you can’t lose :)

      Reply
  7. MackenzieNo Gravatar
    April 4, 2013 at 3:32 pm (1 year ago)

    “I still wouldn’t discuss money on the first date. Save that for the infamous 3rd date.” LOL :) Who discusses money on the 1st date? Bravo to those that do!

    Reply
    • Girl Meets DebtNo Gravatar
      April 4, 2013 at 10:05 pm (1 year ago)

      Eager beaver PF people might discuss money on the first date :P or gold-diggers lol

      Reply
  8. paulineNo Gravatar
    April 4, 2013 at 3:57 pm (1 year ago)

    just posted mine today as well! I am of the same opinion about paying each other’s debt, whichever side I’d stand, I would not like that.

    Reply
    • Girl Meets DebtNo Gravatar
      April 4, 2013 at 10:06 pm (1 year ago)

      I just went over to your blog and read your replies. I loved your answers :)

      Reply
  9. Grayson @ Debt RoundupNo Gravatar
    April 4, 2013 at 4:06 pm (1 year ago)

    I don’t know why people think that once they get married, your debt become one. That is old school thinking. I didn’t want my wife responsible for my debt when we got married. Why should she be? She didn’t cause me to spend more and she had nothing to do with it. I am with you on this one. You should be responsible for your debt prior to your relationship. If you incur it after you get married, then you should pay it together. It’s time to get into the real world.

    Reply
    • Girl Meets DebtNo Gravatar
      April 4, 2013 at 10:23 pm (1 year ago)

      I agree with you 100% Grayson! It’s not fair to J for me to expect him to pay my debt if we were to get married. My debt, my problem.

      Reply
  10. KK @ Student Debt SurvivorNo Gravatar
    April 4, 2013 at 4:39 pm (1 year ago)

    Debt isn’t a deal breaker for me, but wanting to pay it off as fast as possible is important to me. If bf had had $100k in student debt and didn’t think it was a big deal and didn’t have a plan to pay it off until he was 50, that would be a deal breaker. Then I’d have to change my blog’s name to: suffering with student debt ;-)

    Reply
    • Girl Meets DebtNo Gravatar
      April 4, 2013 at 10:24 pm (1 year ago)

      We like the name Student Debt Survivor much better :)

      Reply
  11. American Debt ProjectNo Gravatar
    April 8, 2013 at 6:06 pm (1 year ago)

    I wonder if relationships are doomed if they don’t talk about money. The more open and frequent communication about money, the better!

    Reply

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